haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
