I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
