Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
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