do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Never joke about your clitoris.
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