bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
