I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Randomize
