You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
