Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
