didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
