I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Randomize