Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize