Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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