Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
How external is "for external use only"?
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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