i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Randomize
