Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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