arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Randomize
