But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Please don't give away my fajitas
Randomize
