sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
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