idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Randomize
