I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
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