Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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