i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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