I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
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