You work out of a Hotel?
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Randomize
