found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
