have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Randomize
