Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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