You can't special order awesome
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
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