If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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