I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Randomize
