i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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