omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Randomize
