Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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