"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Randomize
