Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize