I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Randomize
