Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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