I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
