my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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