I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
