Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Randomize
