why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
