Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
