I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
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