yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
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