the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Its about making memories worth repressing
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Randomize
