in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
