We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
