just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Randomize
