I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
