And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
