don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
