they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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