Tell her she can't have a vagina
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Randomize