You're completely useless in the revolution.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Randomize
