awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
