before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
