I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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