Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Randomize
