bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
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