its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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