How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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