dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
