boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
