Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
