If that was your dad, he is hot
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Randomize
